Without You
by taylor.lauren
Summary: Brittany gets a call that changes her life forever. Brittana and a little of Faberry & Samcedes.
1. Chapter 1: The Call

**AUTHORS NOTE: This is my first try at a longer story. Bare with me please, lol. Suggestions, comments and reviews are ALL welcomed :)**

**Enjoy :)**

It was early in the morning. I got up around 5:00 as usual and started getting ready for work. Santana was away on a business trip in Boston, and was coming home today. I was excited. She had been away for over a three weeks now, and I couldn't wait for her to come home. Her job was an executive for a legal branch, and because of all her success; she traveled all over giving presentations and speaking at conventions. I checked my phone and saw a text from San.

_Hey baby. I just boarded my flight. I can't wait to see you when I get home. _

_ XOXO San_

I smiled. She made plans prior to her coming home, which included dinner and a movie and some much needed quality time together. I loved date nights, especially with her. It was now, about 5:45 and I was pouring my coffee into my favorite mug. It had a picture of Santana and I when we won Nationals during High School. I can still clearly remember how she looked in that red dress like it was yesterday. She was the most beautiful girl in the entire building. And she was all mine. I sat at the kitchen counter and started reading the newspaper when my phone rang. It was Santana's ringtone. It's way too early, I thought. They must've landed because something was wrong with the plane.

"Hey baby! What's going on?" I answered. She didn't answer. I only heard sniffles, and some mumbling.

"San? What's wrong?" I wasn't too worried, but she never cried. So something was definitely wrong.

"Baby… Britt… I'm still in the air. Our plane got hijacked… And I don't have much time. They're planning on crashing our plane into the World Trade Center in New York. I've called… To say…." She started crying more.

"This isn't funny, Santana. If this is some cruel joke and you're about to walk in the front door to surprise me, just do it because I don't like it. " I told her. I was denying everything she said. I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to believe it.

"I'm not playing a joke Britt.. This is real. I needed to hear your voice one more time. I needed to tell you that I love you with my entire heart and that I will always be with you no matter what." She blew her nose and continued talking. "You're everything I could've ever dreamed for. We went through so much together, and experienced so many new things. And I am very blessed to have had the wonderful opportunity to call you my girlfriend. There is one thing I want you to go and look for when we get off the phone okay? You'll know what it is when you see it. It's in the bottom drawer of my desk in the room. I have to go, Britt. Don't forget about me okay? I promise I'll watch over you from wherever I am. I'll make sure you're okay. I love you, forever and eternity. This isn't goodbye, it's just.. See you later okay?" The tears were falling faster with every word she said.

"I love you too, baby. But you should know by now, that I'll never forget about you. You'll live in my heart everyday." I told her. "See you later.." And the phone line went dead. I felt like universe was shifting. My world was changing. I was about to lose the love of my life in a matter of minutes. I ran into the living room and turned the TV on.

_"It's the scene of horror. A plane has already crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. What we're seeing here today is an act of terrorism on the United States. Oh! What is that? OH MY GOD! A second plane has crashed into the South Tower! This is horrible. I can't believe what I'm seeing." _

And that's when I knew. Santana was gone. My phone rang, but it wasn't Santana's ringtone. It was Rachel's. I clicked answer.

"Brittany don't talk. It's Rachel. Quinn and I are coming over right now. We now this isn't the time for you to be alone." And she hung up. Did she know what happened to Santana? About twenty minutes later, my doorbell rang. I opened the door the two of them were standing there. Shaking, mascara running, with tears still falling from their eyes. They pulled me in for a hug.

"I'm so so so sorry Brittany.. Santana called us too." Rachel said. After they released me from the hug, we went back into the living where the news was still on. I turned the volume down, and turned to the two of them. After going through horrible break ups after college, Rachel and Quinn found comfort in each other. Eventually they started dating, something I knew would eventually happen. Quinn wiped the tears from Rachel's eyes. I watched her as she mouthed the words, "Stop crying baby. We have to be strong for Britt." Rachel nodded her head, and kissed Quinn lightly.

"What.. Did San tell you guys?" I asked. I was curious.

"She called when the plane was first hijacked. She wanted to know what was going on, so we turned on the news and saw what happening. The first plane had hit the North Tower, and according to the reporter, a plane that was headed for LA was turned around and headed for New York." Tears fell as Quinn told me what happened. "Santana started crying, she kept telling us that she didn't want to leave you. She saw you two with a future, but now it was going to be cut short." My tears started falling harder and faster. Quinn got up and sat next to me. "She told us that she had to call you, and told us that we had to look after you. Which is what we'll do. We'll be around whenever you want. Stay over when you need us, we'll be here Britt. We won't leave you alone."

"Thanks guys." I told them. That's when I remembered what Santana told me. The bottom drawer of her desk. I stood up and told them that I would be right back. They nodded their heads and turned towards the TV. Rachel leaned into Quinn and she automatically put her arm around her. I walked into the room, and looked at her desk. There were pictures of us all over, and pictures of just me. I bent down and opened the bottom drawer. In the back left corner, I found a little box; with a piece of paper under it. It couldn't be, I thought to myself. I opened the box and found a beautiful diamond ring. I sat on the ground, and cried even more.

"She was going to propose." I whispered to myself. I grabbed the piece of paper that was under it, and opened it up. It had a bunch of writing on it, and a lot of it had lines through it.

Brittany you're the love of my life, will you marry me?

I don't know how to say this, but I want you to be my wife will you marry me?

This is too hard! Ugh. I want this to be perfect.

Brittany Susan Pierce. You made me see who I really am. What potential I have lying under the surface. You stuck with me through hard times, and celebrated the times that filled us with overwhelming joy. I felt like we've done it all. And most importantly, you've helped me become the person I am today. Strong, confident, and not afraid to be who I really am. And that's something I could never ever say thank you for enough. You are my soul mate. (This is when I point up to the sky.) For every star, I could name something about you that I loved. But Brittany, there aren't enough stars in the sky to help me explain how much love I have for you. So maybe this will. Brittany, will you make me the happiest girl on this planet, and do me the honor, of being my wife?

Ahhh yeah that's it. =)

The piece of paper made me break down. I filled with emotions. Both happy, and sad. I looked up, hoping that you were looking down.

"Yes baby, yes I'll marry you." I slipped the ring onto my finger and walked back outside into the living room.


	2. Chapter 2: Funeral

**Authors Note: I know that I have written about a funeral from Brittany's POV in "My Knight In Shining Armor" So i'm going to try and change it up, and make it different from the last one. Hopefully it lives up to everyones expectations.**

**The song I use in this chapter is called "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye To Yesterday" by Boyz II Men. Playing it while reading will definitely make it harder. I had a difficult time writing this.**

**Remember to review and leave me feedback! =)**

Nearly everyone Santana knew showed up for her funeral. Her entire family, our old classmates, and even people who didn't like her. It was understandable though. Even though they didn't like her, they respected her as a person and came to pay their condolences. The eulogy was going to be given by me, and I wanted it to be perfect. I sat in my room for hours writing and rewriting it. After what seemed to be hundreds of crumpled up papers, I finished it.

"We would like Brittany to come up here and give the eulogy." Mrs. Lopez said. She motioned me to come up on stage. I got up from my seat and made my way up the stairs. I looked up and saw the picture of Santana with flowers all around it. I stayed strong for so long I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. But I knew I had to, I knew Santana wouldn't want me to be sad. Mrs. Lopez gave me a hug, and walked off the stage. I looked out into the crowd and began to speak.

"Santana was, everything I could've ever imagined. She was smart, strong, understanding, and most importantly, loving. There was never a day that went by that she didn't remind me of how much she loved me, and how she would never hurt me. She was my soul mate. She was the one person who made me think, that there wasn't anyone else out there for me. She was perfection, perfection in a sense of imperfection. Everything that she was and wasn't; qualities and flaws, was what made her exactly what I wanted. And everything I needed. We balanced each other out; she was my missing puzzle piece. I loved her with every ounce of blood in my body, and will continue to love her as long as I live." I wiped a tear from my eye, and put my piece of paper back in my purse. "If I could have the Glee Club come up here, I'd like to share a song while Santana's slideshow plays here on the screen." Rachel created the slideshow of Santana with her family and friends. I hadn't seen it yet, so I was anxious for it to play. The music started playing, and the slideshow began. The song matched perfectly. It started with pictures of Santana as a young child with her family. So innocent, her eyes filled with confidence. Even as a child, Santana knew what she wanted in life. I looked over at her parents, they had smiles on their face but tears still fell from their eyes.

_How do I say goodbye to what we had?  
__The good times that made us laugh  
__Outweigh the bad_

_I thought we'd get to see forever  
__But forever's gone away  
__It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday_

The pictures started showing High School days at McKinley. That was the Santana I remembered. Her beautiful smile, and big brown eyes. The way her Cheerios uniform hugged her body so perfectly. I missed it. I missed her.

_I don't know where this road  
__Is going to lead  
__All I know is where we've been  
__And what we've been through_

_If we get to see tomorrow__  
__I hope it's worth all the wait  
__It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday_

And that's when it got really tough. Pictures of us together started showing. Video clips of us riding four wheelers at my aunt's ranch, and us at the park playing on swings. It was all of my favorite memories with Santana. It took all I had left inside of me to not break down then.

_And I'll take with me the memories  
__To be my sunshine after the rain__  
__It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday_

_And I'll take with me the memories  
__To be my sunshine after the rain  
__It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday_

As the song finished, the instrumental went on and watched as the pictures of us still played on the screen. The last video was something I recorded and Santana was talking to me. I remembered that day like it was yesterday. We were sitting on the bleachers at the football field after Cheerios practice one day. We always had time like this, but this one in particular was my favorite. The music went quieter, so everyone could hear her talking.

_"San tell me how much you love me" I saw her smiling at the camera, and she sort of turned her head and did that cute smile she always gave me._

_"Britt you already know how much I love you. You just wanna hear me say it." She chuckled, and ran her hand through her hair. _

_"You already know that I love hearing it, so just tell me!"_

_"Alright, alright. Stop giving me that pouty face. You know I can't resist that." She smiled, and then looked straight into the lens. It felt like she was actually there. It made my heart drop. I could feel the tears coming faster. "Brittany, you are my one and only. You are the first person that I have ever fallen in love with. Falling is actually an understatement. It was more like, destiny. Destiny is what brought us together. My angel from heaven. The only one in the entire world for me. Don't you let anyone make you think that what i'm saying isn't true. Because I meant everything from the bottom of my heart. You're sexy, loving, and you take care of me like no one else. You know exactly what to say to calm me down, and what to tell me when i'm crying." That's when she grabbed the camera and put it down on the bleacher in a way that you could see both of us sitting. She scooted closer to me, and held my hands in hers. "Brittany Susan Pierce, I love you with everything my entire heart and soul. And nothing is ever going to change that." Santana kissed me, and then pulled me in for a hug. _

The video faded out. That's when I realized I was in denial the entire time. I didn't want to allow myself to believe that she was gone for good. Watching her on the screen, made me realize she wasn't coming back. I wouldn't be able to look into her eyes anymore. I wouldn't be able to feel the warmness of her skin against mine. I was going home, to an empty bed. I wouldn't have anymore sweet kissed from her, or long hugs in her arms. All those thoughts ran through my mind, and that's when I broke. Rachel and Quinn grabbed me, and held me up. Being strong didn't last that long. The emotions were hitting me like a high-speed train. I couldn't handle it. Santana was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it.


	3. Chapter 3: Zombie

**AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks for all the support everyone! I really greatly appreciate it :)**

**Reviews make me happy! And motivated to write :) More reviews the faster chapters will come out. I wil be going on orders for the military soon, so i may not come out with chapters as fast. But PLEASE bare with me.**

**Love you all! Lol :)**

It had been about two weeks after the funeral, and my body was exhausted. I cried myself to sleep nearly every night. I couldn't eat because I didn't have an appetite. Quinn and Rachel came over frequently to make sure I was okay, which I liked a lot. Their company helped me feel like I wasn't alone. But once they left, things would get harder. It was like there was some sort of pit in my stomach and it kept getting bigger and bigger. I felt like I was a zombie. A human being that is no longer alive yet continues to roam the earth. Living dead is the better term. Santana was my heart, and her death made me feel like there was nothing left to live for. I built my life around her. Every plan that I ever came up with before now involved her. But now she was gone. I would spray her shirts that she always wore with her perfume, and cuddle with them at night. It comforted me in a way that no one else could. Quinn and Rachel eventually moved in, and that made things a little easier. They would invite to go places with them, and do things that involved taking my mind off of the fact that Santana wasn't here anymore. Sometimes I would feel like I was a third wheel, which made it sort of uncomfortable. But they reassured me I wasn't. Other than that, it was a nice change. I didn't cry as much, I would watch _Spy Kids _until I fell asleep every night. It was our favorite movie to watch together.

About a month after they moved in, Rachel told me that they were planning on taking a cruise. It was one of the things that Santana and I wanted to do when we had the money, and I didn't feel right going with them.

"Are you sure you don't want to come on this cruise with us, Britt?" Quinn asked. "Its gonna be super fun."

"No it's aright guys. I don't want to ruin your fun by coming and you guys would think that you had to spend time with me. Go on. It's your one-year anniversary. Enjoy it together." I smiled at them and they nodded their heads in approval.

"We'll call you when we get the chance okay? We love you Britt. Let us know if you need anything." And they walked out the door. That's when the feeling of loneliness crept in and I went up stairs to my room, and turned on _Spy Kids_. But I was still crying. This night was different. I couldn't sleep at all, and found myself in the car driving. I didn't know where I was going, until I pulled up in front of a house in Santa Barbara. I unconsciously drove to Mercedes' house. I saw her car parked in the driveway, so I knew she was home. It was about; 10:30 so I was hoping that she was still awake. I rang the doorbell and waited.

"Britt?" She opened the door fully, and invited me inside. "You look terrible, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep, I haven't stopped crying since two this afternoon. I just.. I miss Santana." I started crying again and she hugged me and rubbed my back.

"I know you miss her, Britt. It's okay. You want to talk about it? I'll go make some tea." She walked me into the living room, and then went back into the kitchen and made some tea for us. The TV was on, but it was muted. It was our performance at Nationals. She came back into the living room, and saw me watching the screen.

"I'm sorry Britt, do you want me to turn this off?" She quickly grabbed the remote.

"No, no. It's okay. I want to watch this." I turned my head back towards the screen, as she turned up the volume.

_There ain't no reason you and me should be alone tonight, yeah baby. Tonight yeah baby. I got a reason that you should take me home tonight_

"Look at her. She's so beautiful. I loved when she sang, I could listen to it all day."

"Santana was a great singer. That's a fact." Mercedes replied. "Here's some tea for you." I grabbed onto the coffee mug.

"Thank you." I told her. I looked back at the screen, and it was Rachel singing. "Where's Sam tonight?"

"He's out with his friends, they're having a bachelor party." She told me. "He's going to stay the night since he's planning on drinking."

"That's good, at least he knows his limits." She looked at me, with concern.

"So what brought you here tonight Britt?"

"I don't know really, I just got in my car and I ended up driving here. I just wanted to be around a friend." I answered. She smiled.

"I got an idea. If you're up for it, of course. Do you want to look at our old high school yearbooks?" She got up from her seat.

"Actually, I think that's a great idea." I smiled. It was nice talking about the old days, I felt like it kept Santana's memory alive. Mercedes came out from the storage closet she had, and was holding the only one she could find. It was when we were sophomores.

"This is the only one I could find, sophomore year I think?" She sat next to me on the couch and we started turning the pages. We came across a picture of Santana, Quinn and I in our Cheerios uniforms. I chuckled.

"The Unholy Trinity. We were inseparable." I rubbed my fingers over the picture, and smiled. We continued looking through the yearbook, laughing at how ridiculous we were sometimes. We closed the yearbook and continued to talk about memories from Glee Club, and how we all quit at one point to join the Troubletones. We laughed and laughed, and started talking about Santana.

"You and Santana were perfect for each other. Everyone knew it." She looked at me. Tears were falling. "You're a strong person, Britt. You're strong and you're going to get through this. Santana is always with you, even if it isn't physically." I nodded.

"Is it alright if I stay the night? I'm getting tired." I asked.

"That's perfectly fine. Our guest bedroom is full of clutter, but you can have the couch." She looked down.

"It's fine Mercedes. The couch is comfortable anyway." I hugged her. "Thank you, I feel much better." I started to wipe my eyes.

"No problem. My door is always open. Here's the remote, you can watch whatever you'd like." She told me. "You know, if you still have a hard time sleeping tonight, I might have something to help you."

"I'll try anything." I told her.

"Before falling asleep, think of a memory you've had with her. When my grandma passed away, I couldn't sleep. I would cry all the time. So my mom told me that before I went to sleep every night I had to think of a memory with my grandma that made me happy. And I would think of one, and then wake up the next morning because I didn't even realize that I fell asleep."

"Alright I'll try it. Thanks Mercedes. For everything." She smiled, got up, and walked into her room and shut the door. I turned the DVD player off, and put on a random show. All I wanted was the light so the room wouldn't be too dark. I closed my eyes, and a memory came to mind.

* * *

_Santana was running down the hallway, crying. I saw her from my locker, and chased after her. She was sitting on the stairs, her head on her knees. I sat next to her, and rubbed her back._

_ "Babe what's wrong?" I asked. She looked up, her mascara was running, and tears were falling. _

_ "This guy is going to air this commercial tomorrow and it's gonna tell the world that I like girls. I'm not ready, Britt. I don't know what to do." She put her head into my shoulder and grabbed onto me._

_ "It's going to be alright, San. I promise you. You need to tell your parents before they find out the wrong way. I'll go with you." She shook her head. _

_ "No, I don't want you to come. It's not a good idea." She looked down. I grabbed her face, and made her look at me._

_ "It'll be fine, okay? I'm coming with you. Let's go right now, before we have to perform for the Mash Off Competition." I got up and held my hand out. She grabbed on and we walked home to her house. Her parents were in the kitchen when she walked in. _

_ "Mija what's wrong?" her mom asked. She sat down with them, and I stood behind her._

_ "Mom, dad. I have to tell you something. Britt and I.. Aren't just friends. We're dating. I like girls, the way that I should feel about boys." She looked down. I put my hands on her shoulders, and started squeezing them. Her parents looked at each other and smiled._

_ "We have known for a while, Santana." Her dad said. He smiled. "We walked into your room one day and saw you and Brittany cuddling." Santana blushed._

_ "As for you, Brittany." My stomach dropped. Were they going to be mad? Of course not, I thought. They just said that they're fine with it. "We are going to treat you as if you were Santana's boyfriend. That means, that she has curfview on school nights. And you have to treat her with the utmost respect."_

_ "Don't worry, Mr. Lopez. I promise to treat her like the princess that she is. She means a lot to me, I'll take care of her. I won't hurt her, because I love her too much." Santana looked at me._

_ "You… Love me?" Her parents got up from their seats._

_ "We'll leave you two alone now. Do you need a ride back to school after girls?" Her mom looked back at us. Santana nodded. "Alright. Let me know when you two are ready." She smiled and walked into the living room._

_ "Britt? You said you love me. You mean that?" She asked._

_ "Yes, I do love you Santana." I knelt in front of her, and took her hands in mine. "I have been thinking about saying those words to you for a while now. And I thought today, this moment would be perfect. You had the courage to tell your parents your deepest secret. You are a strong person, Santana."_

_ "Thanks Britt. You know I wouldn't be the person I am, without you next to me. I love you too." I smiled with delight._

_ "You love me too?" She pulled me up and sat me on her lap._

_ "Yes, I do. I had these feelings for you for so long, I knew that it was much more than a crush. I always knew that it was much more than that. I want you to remember this day babe. The day I declared my love for you. That day I told you that I was head over heels, unequivocally in love with you." _

And before I knew it, I was sleeping.


	4. Chapter 4: Dream

Since Santana died, I had dreamless nights. My dreams were usually filled with unicorns and rainbows. But now they were gone. Until tonight.

* * *

_"Brittany get up. You have to go to school." I opened my eyes and found myself in my mom's car._

_"What?" She unlocked the doors._

_"You're going to be late Britt. Now go on, the bell is about to ring." I rubbed my eyes, confused. Closing the door behind me, my mom waved bye to me and drove off. I looked up at the front doors, and began to walk towards them. The school bell went off, and everyone in the hallways were starting to head to their classes. The chatter of students, and the sound of lockers closing was something I remembered like it were yesterday._

_"Brittany!" The voice sounded all too familiar. "Britt, come to me. Find me, babe." Santana. I frantically scanned the sea of people in the hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I heard the voice calling me again. "Brittany. You know where to go, come to me." I ran down the hallway and took a left, and stepped into the choir room. And there she was. Sitting on one of the chairs, looking at me. She smiled, and tapped the chair next to her. _

_"Come here, Britt. I was waiting for you." I walked over to her and sat there._

_"Am I dead?" I asked. She chuckled, and pulled me in for a hug. I could feel her embrace, the warmness of her skin. The shampoo from her hair, and the perfume she was wearing. It was like she was really there. _

_"No Britt, you're not dead." She turned towards me now. "Do you know why I've brought you to the choir room?" I shook my head. "I brought you here because this is the first place I ever sang a song to you. The place that everyone accepted us; no matter whom we loved. The one place that we were never judged because of who we were. I've brought you here because I needed to see you Britt. I've watched you every night since I've left. And it kills me to see you in the condition that you are. Crying every night, barely eating." I looked down, and a tear began to fall._

_"I miss you that's why, San. It's hard without you. I feel like I have nothing to live for." She grabbed my face gently, and made me look at hers. _

_"I miss you too, Britt. I don't want to be here without you. But you can't keep doing this to yourself okay? You have everything to live for." She kissed me, and stood up. "Come with me, okay? Trust me." I stood up and took her hand, and we walked out of the choir room. We walked up to where our lockers used to be, and she turned to me._

_"I would wait here everyday for you. When I saw your face coming down the hallway, I would smile. My heart would skip a beat. I felt on top of the world. You would come up next to me, and start opening your locker. That was before you knew I liked you. After what seemed to be forever, we were finally together. And instead of opening your locker first, you would kiss me. It gave me so many butterflies that I thought they were going to fly straight out of my mouth." She laughed. She opened her locker and got something out of it. "This is for you Britt." It was a gold necklace, with the letter "S" on it. _

_"It's beautiful, San. I love it." She helped me put it on, and held me from behind. _

_"I miss this. I miss being able to hold you, and kiss you. Being able to lay in bed with you and cuddle." She started crying. "I came to visit you tonight because I needed to tell you that you're going to be okay. You need to start living. If not for yourself, then for me. Live, Brittany. Don't stop living your life because I'm no longer there. I'm always going to be here." She pointed to my head, and then moved her finger down to where my heart was. "And here. I promise you. So promise me, that you're going to live." I grabbed her hands, and kissed her._

_"I know you will babe. And I promise that I'll live. I'll keep that promise." I answered._

_"And promise me that you'll do things with Quinn and Rachel and actually have a good time. Because I know you've only been doing things with them to humor them and make them think that you're happy. Stop being stubborn. Let them help you." I looked up. She was watching the entire time._

_"Yes babe. I will okay? Can I just tell you something?" She nodded her head._

_"I have loved you from the day I saw you in the locker room. You were so sexy, so beautiful. And you still are. I miss the way you would wake me up every morning. The way that you would stare at me in the mirror while I'm getting ready for work. How you would keep me company in the kitchen when I was cooking dinner for us. Our date nights on Fridays. I just miss everything about you Santana. I feel lonely without you." She looked at me, walking closer and holding me. _

_"You won't be lonely, you'll be okay. You'll see. I have to go now, Britt. I'm sorry I have to leave you again. " My heart dropped._

_"No. Please, don't go San. Please don't go." She held my hand, and kissed me one last time._

_"I have to, Britt. But I promise I'll be back again, okay? I promise." I felt her fingers let go, and she started walking down the hallway. I ran after her, but no matter how fast I ran I couldn't catch her. She reached the front doors of the school and turned around one last time. I looked at her. She waved bye, and blew me a kiss._

_"I love you Britt. Don't forget about that promise. See you soon." And she walked out the doors. I reached the doors and flew them open. There was a bright light._

* * *

I sat up on the couch, forgetting where I was for a minute. Mercedes walked out from the hallway and looked at me.

"What's wrong Britt? You looked like you just seen a ghost." She chuckled and walked into the kitchen. "I'm going to make breakfast. You want anything specific?"  
"No I'm sure whatever you're going to make will be good. Where's the bathroom?" I asked.

"It's the second door on the right." I heard the sound of oil hitting a hot pan. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I turned the water on, and washed my face. I held myself up over the sink, allowing the water to drip off of my nose. I touched my face; it really did feel like I was with Santana last night. I grabbed a towel and wiped my face. When I finished, I looked at myself in the mirror. My jaw dropped.

"The necklace." I whispered. I went to touch it to see if I wasn't just seeing things. I felt the gold between my fingers. In complete shock, I walked into the kitchen. Mercedes looked at me.

"Are you sure you're alright Britt?" I held out the necklace to show her. "That's a nice necklace, Britt. When did you get it?"

"Last night. When Santana visited me."


	5. Chapter 5: Home

**AUTHORS NOTE: I'm sorry I haven't updated in a couple days. :( It had been a very eventful weekend, and after donating blood, and then shortly after; passing out and being taken to the hospital i just came home and had a Glee Marathon with my girlfriend. Who is catching up because before me, she didn't really watch the show. But anyway, I'm going to be a bit busy for the next couple of days so please bare with me... I'll write when I can but my schedule is going to be super hectic. I'll try and upload the next chapter from my phone.**

**Review, Favorite.. Follow :) ENJOY!**

It had been about three weeks since the visit from Santana. I talked to Mercedes regularly, and we always had good conversations. Sam and Mercedes were doing great and were expecting their first child. I was told that I was going to be one of the godparents, and I was thrilled about it. Quinn and Rachel were on the rocks, because of Finn. Apparently one night while Quinn was at work and I was out with Mercedes, Finn came over and Quinn caught them making out on the couch. She came into my room one night crying.

"I dont know what to do Britt, what if she still loves him?" She was sobbing now, and i sat next to her and held her.

"It's gonna be okay Quinn. You guys will work through this like you always do." She turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"We should go home." I grabbed her hand off her shoulder and held it.

"To Lima?" I asked.

"Yes, to Lima." She smiled and i shook my head. I was long overdue for a visit home. Since Rachel was away with her dads on vacation we saw it as a perfect opportunity. So we packed our bags, and headed home.

* * *

The first day we were home, I had major jetlag. I wasn't accustomed to flying at all and the time difference got to me. My parents were excited that i came home to visit. I stayed at their house, and Quinn stayed in my room with me also but slept on the floor. (Rachel didn't want her sleeping in the same bed as me). The morning after we got there, I woke up and just stared at the ceiling. The last time I slept in my bed, Santana was with me. I looked over at the mirror on my dresser and saw all the pictures of Santana and I. My favorite being one that we took in the choir room. It was actually one Quinn took, and we were caught off-guard. I was holding Santana, trying to get her to stop crying. I got up off of my bed and walked over to my dresser. It felt like only yesterday that Santana and I were in my room packing.

"It seems like only yesterday that we three marched down the hallways at McKinley High as the Unholy Trinity." Quinn's voice startled me. I didn't know she was awake. "We ran that school. People saw us walking by and they moved out of our way." She chuckled and grabbed the picture of the three of us off my mirror. Stepping back a little, she sat on my bed and stared at the picture.

"I know what we should do today. Visit McKinley." I smiled.

"Lets go." I told her. We got ready and headed over to the high school.

We got there around 11:30 and everyone was in class. Walking through the front doors, i was anxious. I hadn't been here in over 4 years. I mean, besides the night Santana visited me in a dream. The hallways were empty, so Quinn and I took our time walking down towards Mr. Shue's classroom. We came unannounced so that it would be a surprise for our old teachers. Mr. Shue was super surprised, he didn't expect us to walk into his classroom at all. When the bell rang he excuses his class, and we took seats like we were students again. We talked for the entire lunch period and that's when he asked.

"So how have you been, Brittany? You doing alright? It's only been about a month since.." I cut Mr. Shue off.

"Thanks for asking, Mr. Shue. I'm doing alright, its been hard but I'm slowly getting there." I started tearing.

"Oh I'm sorry Brittany. I didn't mean to.." He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I stood up and turned around at the door.

"I'll catch up with you two later." I walked out the door, not knowing where i was going. I ended up on the football field, watching the Cheerios practice. I remembered how i would walk with Santana out onto the field everyday. I smiled. It was nice coming back to school.

"If my eyes don't deceive me, I believe I see Brittany S. Pierce." Coach Sue walked over and sat next to me on the bleachers. "I never thought I'd see you back on campus after you failed to graduate senior year the first time, and had to repeat it a second time."

"I missed you too Coach Sylvester." I chuckled. She smiled. Coach Sue always had her ways of showing her emotions, even if it wasn't like everyone else.

"You look good, considering what you just went through." She looked back onto the field. "I can recall watching you and Santana on my field for the first time. I knew from the beginning she had a thing for you, the way she would stare at you during practice, and just the way she acted around you." I started tearing. "She was stubborn. But eventually came around."

"It took her a while." I said while wiping tears.

"Better late than never i always say, B." i smiled.

"Thanks coach. I'll talk to you later, I've got one more place i want to see before I leave." I stood up, and she stood up with me. To my surprise, she hugged me.

"You take care of yourself, Brittany. If you need anything, just call." And she walked away. The last place I visited was the locker room. It was the first place I met Santana, and I felt it was only right to end my visit at school here. I sat on the wooden bench in front of the two lockers, reminiscing over the moments of sheer happiness we had here. We would laugh until we couldn't breath. Where i figured out she is what I wanted. She took my breath away countless times.

* * *

_ Santana was brushing her hair in the mirror that hung on the inside of her locker door._

_ "You know Britt, sometimes I wish I were a dude. Cause then I would just date you." She chuckled. But I stood there and just looked at her._

_ "B? Are you okay?" She put her brush down and sat next to me. _

_ "I'm fine. I'm just thinking about what you said. What do you mean by it?" I was arguing with myself on the inside. I didn't know if it was the right time to tell her. It could potentially ruin my relationship with Santana, and I didn't want that. Yet, I wanted to know if she felt the same way I did for her._

_ "I don't know Britt. I just enjoy spending time with you. You're funny, and you always make me laugh. If you were a dude you would be my boyfriend in a heartbeat." She stood back up and started brushing her hair again. I sighed._

_ "So… The only way you would date me is if I were a boy? Did Beyonce talk to you because she just wrote a song about this." I told her. She laughed._

_ "You always have such funny things to say." I stood up._

_ "I wasn't trying to be funny this time, San. I was being serious. I like you. And not just as a friend." Santana stopped brushing her hair and slowly closed her locker._

_ "You like me?" She had a surprised look on her face now._

_ "Yes, I do." I started crying. "I was just so afraid to tell you because I thought you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore because I was weird and I like girls." She put on a slight grin, and sat next to me and started rubbing my back._

_ "Britt it's okay. I.. Have thought about it too. I mean, I may have feelings for you as well but I'm not sure." I looked up with hope in my eyes._

_ "So you would go out with me?" You could hear the optimism in my voice._

_ "Shhh. Don't say that too loud. It's not that I wouldn't be happy to.. Be your girlfriend. You're hot, and you make me happy. I just don't know if I'm ready to head down that path just yet." Her voice was quieter now._

_ "Just promise me that you'll keep that door open?" I asked. She hugged me, and whispered in my ear._

_ "I promise."_


	6. Chapter 6: Mrs Lopez

**Author's Note: Hello everyone. I'm sorry about the late post. Things are crazy and I just got the time to update and post this chapter. I'm trying my best to post as fast as I can. I hope you enjoy and please review favorite and comment or whatever you want to do. All criticism is welcomed :) **

After visiting McKinley, I felt a little better. It was like, slowly by slowly I felt this relief. Quinn and Rachel broke up, Quinn couldn't seem to forgive Rachel for what she did. Rachel ended up moving out before we came home from Lima. It was a sad time for all of us. But as hard as it was, we knew it would be for the better. Mom asked me to run to the store for her to get some groceries. I dropped Quinn off at her parents house and headed for the store. I was about halfway through the list my mom gave me when I someone called my name.

"Brittany?" I turned around and saw Mrs. Lopez walking towards me with her cart. "How are you?"

"I'm doing alright." I went to hug her. "How are you?"

"I'm doing better, thank you." She smiled. "You look good, Brittany. I know all of this must've been difficult for you. But I know in my heart that you're going to be okay. Come over to my house tonight, I have something for you."

"Sure Mrs. Lopez. I'll be there around six tonight. Is that okay?" I asked.

"That's perfectly fine. I'll see you then." and she started walking down the isle. I wondered what she could've possible had for me. I was anxious yet a little nervous. I didn't want it to be something that would end up putting me in the emotional state I was before I came home.

Around 5:45, I left to go to Santana's house. It was going to be the first time going there since we left Lima for California. I pulled into the driveway and just sat there. Mr. Lopez came out of the garage and saw me.

"Brittany!" He walked over to my car and opened my door for me. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Mr. Lopez." I smiled. He shook his head.

"I've told you numerous times to call me dad." I smiled. He adored the fact that I took such good care of Santana. We walked into the house and Mrs. Lopez was sitting at the kitchen table drinking wine.

"Ah Brittany. There you are." She got up and handed me a glass of wine. "I asked you to come over tonight because of something I found in Santana's room the other night. I thought that you might want it. You can head upstairs and look at it. It's on her bed."

"Thanks, Mrs. Lopez." I grabbed my glass of wine and headed up the stairs towards Santana's room. I walked up to the threshold of the door and stopped. I slowly turned the light on, and everything was just as I remembered it. Her medals for cheerleading hanging on the mirror on her dresser. Cheerios uniform hanging on the outside of her closet. There was a binder sitting on her bed. On the front of it had a heart with my name written in it. I grabbed the binder off of the bed and sat in the chair that was in front of her dresser. Putting my glass of wine down, I opened the binder up. The first page was a collage of pictures of us together. I smiled as I looked down at the page. Turning to the next page was a note we wrote to each other during intermediate school. I remember it clearly, because she was telling me about how she liked Puck. The pages following it were just little notes and letters that we wrote to each other. As I got towards the back, I found a page that looked like it was ripped out of a notebook.

_Dear diary,_

_It's me again. Brittany told me that she likes me today. It made my heart skip a beat. I've liked her for so long but i've just been too scared. Too scared that if she didn't like me, she would judge me and not be my friend anymore. But I now know how she feels about me. I'm still sort of scared, but I know that if I fall; she'll catch me. She's so amazing and smart. I just want her to be mine, and only mine. I want to be able to call her my girlfriend. That's all for now, i'll write later. Bye._

I smiled. I turned the page and continued reading all of the things that was in the binder. It was like a scrapbook she made. I picked up my wine glass, which was now empty and walked back downstairs.

"Thank you, Mrs. Lopez. Is it alright if I take it with me?" I asked. I placed my cup carefully in the sink.

"That's fine honey. If you wanted to take Santana's jacket, it's hanging in her closet." Santana's favorite jacket was a black pullover. She wore it all the time before she joined the Cheerios.

"I'd love that." I ran back upstairs and went into her room again. I turned the light switch on and walked over to the closet. There wasn't much left but I spotted the jacket immediately. I took it off the hanger and put it on. It smelled just like her. I laid on her bed, and looked up at the ceiling. I remebered laying in this bed with Sanatana numerous times. Cuddling, and just having a good time together.

"I remember laying here with you, San. I remember it like it was yesterday." I heard the door shut.

"And I remember it too, babe." I looked up.

"San? What..." She stopped me.

"I don't have much time, Britt." She layed next to me and kissed me. "I told you I wouldn't leave you lonely. Go to our spot near the lake tomorrow afternoon."

"Wait I don't understand." Santana stood up.

"I have to go now. Just remember. Tomorrow. Lake." And she dissapeared.

"Brittany?" Mrs. Lopez was standing at the door. "Did you want to stay the night? It's pretty late." I didn't even know I fell asleep.

"Actually, yes. I would love that." She smiled.

"Alright just let your mom know that you're not coming home tonight." And she walked away. I texted my mom to let her know. I went under the covers, and got comfortable. I was anxious to find out what Santana had in store for me the next day. I hugged the extra pillow that was on her bed, and the scent of her shampoo filled me with happiness. I smiled and shut my eyes. I got one of the best nights of sleep that night. I felt at peace.


	7. Chapter 7: The Lake

**AUTHORS NOTE: So I woke up this morning super motivated. I'm a cook in the Army so we had to cook and serve breakfast. We finished everything, cleaned up and got a break. Being that i'm so motivated I wrote the next chapter for you all! Favorite, review, comment... REVIEW :) lol Enjoy!**

I woke up the next morning to the sound of the birds outside of the window. The sun was shining through the slit of the curtains and hitting me directly in the face. I sat up and realized that I was in Santana's room. I checked my phone and I had four missed calls from Quinn, along with five text messages.

_Brittany where are you?_

_Are you okay you didn't come to pick me up last night._

_Hello? Don't fuck around Britt!_

_I called your mom she hasn't heard from you. _

_Nevermind she just let me know you're spending the night at Santana's house. See ya tomorrow._

Oops, I forgot to let Quinn know. I texted her to let her know that I would be going to the lake today. I asked her if she wanted to come but she told me that she would be spending the day with her dad. Mr. Lopez was walking by the door when he looked in and saw me sitting up.

"Good morning, Britt." He smiled and leaned onto the doorframe.

"Goodmorning Mr. Lop... I mean dad." He chuckled.

"You're finally catching on! If you're hungry I made some breakfast it's on the stove. Mrs. Lopez went to work already." I got off of the bed.

"Alright thank you. I'll be down in a little while." And he walked away. I stood up off of the bed and stretched. It was already 10:30. I didn't expect to sleep that long. I walked into the bathroom and saw that both mine and Santana's toothbrush were still sitting in the Cheerios cup next to the sink. I smiled. Her parents really didn't change anything after we left Lima. After freshening up I went downstairs and saw Mr. Lopez sitting at the kitchen counter drinking his morning coffee and reading the newspaper. I opened up one of the cabinets to grab a plate. I heard the sound of the paper being folded.

"You know Brittany, I remember the day that Santana brought you home for the first time. She was glowing. Her eyes were filled with happiness. I knew something was different." I closed the cabinet slowly and turned around.

"You were never bothered by the fact that she liked girls?" I always wondered that.

"That wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was the fact she kept it a secret for so long. Well, tried to." He laughed. "Everything I ever wanted for my Santana, I found it in you. It didn't matter to me that you were a girl. What mattered the most was the fact that I knew my babygirl was going to be taken cared of and respected the way she deserved to be."

"I never knew that." I smiled.

"And that's why I tell you to call me dad. I love you, Brittany. Like you are my own daughter. If you ever need a place to stay, our door is always open. Now go ahead and eat. You're all skin and bones." He smiled and continued to read his paper. After all this time I never knew that he felt that way about me. I finished eating and put my plate in the dishwasher. I went upstairs to get Santana's jacket and the binder. Before closing the door to her room I took one last look. I took a deep breath in and smiled. I looked down at my watch, it was already 11:45. I needed to get going down to the lake. I went downstairs and told dad bye, and left.

Santana and I loved going to the lake. We had a special spot that no one else went to. There was a poorly made bench that we crafted out of wood we found around the area. But it held us both when we sat on it. We spent many nights there. Camping under the stars was her favorite thing to do. I always took my dads truck and we would drive onto the sand and make our bed on the back of the tail bed. It was so comfortable. Today wasn't windy. There wasn't one cloud in the sky. The sun beamed down on me. It felt so nice on my skin. The way it glistened on the lake water was just so beautiful. I missed it so much. I leaned back and closed my eyes.

* * *

_"You warm now babe?" San asked. It was a particularly windy night. We didn't expect it to be this cold. _

_"I'm alright now, thanks." I was cuddling in Santana's arm. She was like my own personal heater. _

_"Babe I can't wait to grow older with you." She looked at me and smiled. "I'm excited to see what our future has in store for us." _

_"Same here. I want a big house, and a huge tv. Oh! And I want a puppy." I got closer to her. "Can we get a puppy please?"_

_"Of course we can Britt, we can get whatever you want. I want you to be happy." I giggled in excitement._

_"Yay! Hey babe?" She looked at me._

_"Whatsup?" _

_"I don't ever want to lose you." She held me tighter._

_"You won't babe." Santana kissed my forehead and ran her hands through my hair. "I'm always going to be here. Through thick and thin sweetheart. I'm not planning on going anywhere soon."_

* * *

I heard a noise coming from behind me. It didn't sound like a person, and Santana wouldn't scare me. I immediately went into protective mode, grabbing a stick and holding it like a bat. As the noise got closer, I got more afraid. The noise stopped. My heart felt like it wasn't beating. Out came a puppy. He seemed like he was only a couple weeks old. He saw me and ran right to me. he jumped onto the bench and started licking me. He had a bright red collar on, with a note attached to it. Before I read the note I wanted to see what the tag said. Maybe it had a name or something.

_Never alone._

_XOXO_

_San_

My eyes opened wide. I took the note off of his collar, and he layed in my lap.

_My dearest Brittany,_

_You must be wondering what's going on. Well this is why I asked you to come to the lake. This is AJ. He's a German Shepherd puppy. Only four weeks old. He's all yours. I promised you that I wouldn't leave you lonely. I am giving you AJ for that reason, and so that he can protect you. I love you, Britt. See you soon._

_San_

I looked down at AJ. He was sleeping now. I was excited. Tears filled my eyes. I've always wanted a puppy. I knew that there was a bunch of things I had to buy so I picked up AJ and started walking back to the car. He was perfect. I couldn't wait to take him home.


	8. Chapter 8: Quinn's Dream

**AUTHORS NOTE: To answer the question, yes. Santana is dead. But I believe (personally) that things like this are possible. Silly, I know. But that's why I incorporated it into this story. I believe in the paranormal and the whole life after death and I thought it fit. Sorry for such a long wait, my schedule went hectic and i started my days early and ended super late. All I could do was shower and sleep. Lol. But alright, here you go :) ENJOY! Review, favorite. You know what to do :)**

The first place I went after getting AJ was to pick up Quinn. I showed her the note, and I could see the hair on her arms stick up. She got chills all over her body. I told her about the necklace and showed that to her as well, and she looked at me in disbelief.

"Britt. Do you really believe that this is, actually her? Santana?" I looked at her and shook my head.

"At first I thought that I was going crazy. But after showing Mercedes that morning at her house, she told me all these stories about paranormal things and how spirits can still do things. I believe it. You don't have to, it's in your own opinion." She placed her hand on my lap.

"I do believe it. Her love for you was so strong. It couldn't have just disappeared." I smiled. I started the car, and drove back to my parents. They were leaving for a business trip that evening. We told them our goodbyes and they left. Quinn and I were leaving the next day; so we spent majority of the night packing our bags, and making sure everything was set. I called the airplane carrier that we were taking and they helped me get everything squared away for AJ. Since he was small enough, I could carry him in one of those pet carriers. He was a very well-behaved puppy. Always peed and pooped on the puppy pads that I bought that afternoon. I found a bottle of wine in the cabinet, and Quinn and I decided to have a few glasses before we went to bed. It was a perfect way to end our vacation at home.

"Britt, I have a confession." Quinn put her glass down gently on the kitchen counter.

"Whatsup?" I asked. I took another sip of wine and realized my glass was about empty. So I stood up and walked over to the sink where the bottle was. I poured myself another glass and looked at her. She was crying. I didn't know if it was because she was actually sad, or because Quinn was borderline drunk. And we all know how she gets when she's drunk. A mess.

"Santana has visited me as well." She looked at me and wiped her eyes. "I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't think you wanted to hear something like that. I felt like I was going crazy."

"But, why are you crying Quinn?" I walked over to her and placed my arm over her shoulder. "It's because you're drunk isn't it?" I chuckled. She pushed away and looked at me.

"Let me tell you what happened. It was the night that I caught Finn and Rachel together. She left with him, and I went upstairs into the room and cried on the bed. That's when I heard noises downstairs so I went to check it out."

* * *

_The noises were getting really loud, I couldn't just sit up here and let someone steal Brittany's things. I grabbed my cell phone and put it in my pocket as I headed downstairs. Someone was washing the dishes. Odd, I thought. It wasn't Rachel, and it obviously wasn't Brittany. This person didn't have blonde hair. That's when it hit me. Santana. She turned around and smiled._

_"I knew you were up there. I walked up to your room but you were sleeping. I hope I didn't disturb you." I was confused._

_"San? What.. I'm confused. How? What?" She laughed._

_"Quinn, I'm always here. Even if it isn't physically. You owe me ten dollars, by the way. You think I didn't know you and Rachel were together?" She held out my hand and I chuckled._

_"Same old Santana." I shook my head. "What are you doing here? Have you seen Britt?" She sat on one of the chairs at the dining table. I sat across of her._

_"I'm not here to see Britt. I'm here to see you Quinn. I need to ask for a huge favor from you." I looked at her._

_"Anything."_

_"Alright. Well, I don't know how to ask this. But, could you watch out for Brittany? For me? She hasn't really been on her own before. And I want to make sure that she's going to be okay. I know it's a bad time, I saw what happened with you and Rachel. And I'm so sorry. If you don't want to do this for me, I understand." I saw a protective side of Santana that only came out for Brittany. It was so passionate, so full of love. Seeing this side of her made me see how much she really did love Britt. _

_"I can do that, San. I promise." She smiled. A tear fell._

_"Thank you, Quinn. You're an amazing friend. You always were. We had our moments, but our friendship always overcame everything. The Unholy Trinity. Top bitches at McKinley High. No one came close to us. I am eternally grateful that you are doing this for me. Brittany is the love of my life. And knowing that she will be looked after even when I'm not there brings me to peace. There are a couple more things I have to do before I leave. But thank you, thank you Quinn." She stood up from the chair and walked over to me. I stood up. She held her arms out, and I moved in closer to her for a hug. "Take care of her, Quinn. Help her grow and heal. I'll see you again one day." She released her grip and looked at me. _

_"I have to go now. Take care of yourself, Quinn. You're future is bright. Amazing things are heading your way. I love you. Other than Britt, you're my best friend. I regret nothing with you." I started crying._

_"I love you too San. I promise to look after Britt, I won't let you down." She walked towards the front door, and turned back to me and smiled. She walked out of the front door and the dream went black._

* * *

"I woke up the next morning, and that was the day I told you we should go home. I felt it was the right thing." Tears were falling from my eyes. "Are you okay Britt?"

"Even when she isn't here, she always finds ways to take care of me." Quinn hugged me, and pulled a tissue out from the box and handed it to me.

"I'm always going to be here for you, Britt. Regardless of what's going on in my life." I looked up at her. "I made a promise. And I'm going to keep it."


	9. Chapter 9: Torn

**AUTHORS NOTE: I'm trying to get these out as fast as I can. I cut my finger the other day with a knife, and burnt two others. Life of a cook. Lol. I'm trying something new, I will have this chapter from both Brittany and Quinn's POV. You guys know the drill. Favorite. Review. Comment. PLEASE COMMENT. Leave ideas. Criticism. ANYTHING! Enjoy :)  
P.S did you hear the new songs from Diva? My Brittana feelings are all over the place. ALKJFOIENGEWGB. Make No Mistake (She's Mine) is my FAVORITE.  
**_  
Brittany's POV_

When Quinn and I got back to LA, life went back to it's normal routine. The reality of Rachel being gone hit Quinn really hard. I would hear her cry every night. I'd go into her room and lay with her and just hold her. I layed there and rocked her until she calmed down. Don't get me wrong; Quinn and I had nothing going on between us. All we had was each other. Seeing her in such a state of depression killed me. There would be some nights that we'd be laying there and Quinn would lay on my shoulder and fall asleep. I'd fall asleep as well, and when I woke up I would forget and think it was Santana. It made me feel guilty all the time. I 'd be so torn between wanting to help her but I felt like I was cheating on San. It was nice having someone to cuddle with, but at the same time I wasn't ready for that. Little by little, I would start moving away from Quinn. I went from rocking her almost every night, to just laying with her. Eventually I didn't even have to go in her room anymore. And in time, we both started living again. AJ was growing to be so big now. He was really well behaved. I trained him myself. He could sit, stay, roll over, shake and my favorite; cuddle with me. He was like the big teddy bear I've always wanted. You could see it in his eyes that he genuinely cared for me.

A couple months later, we got a call from Mike Chang. He was opening up a dance studio and wanted us to come to perform at his grand opening. It was great. The Glee Club was together once again.

"Britt you look great." Mercedes told me. She had been gone on a tour with her new band. I hugged her.

"Thanks. I feel so much better. That visit home really did the trick, and it was all Quinn's idea." I turned to Quinn, and she looked at me and smiled. We performed a couple songs, and that's when Mike went on stage and told everyone his thank yous and how much he appreciated everyone coming out to share this special day with him. I looked over at our group of friends. I was so; I guess you could say the word I was looking for was astonished. We had grown so much. And to stay friends for this long was an accomplishment I was proud to say I had. I stayed with Quinn majority of the day because I knew how hard it was for her to see Finn and Rachel together. It made me upset, because I felt that Rachel had no consideration for Quinn's feelings whatsoever. After Mike came off stage, he came over to all of us.

"Thank you so much for helping me out today guys. It means a whole lot. I know Tina would've loved to been here with all of us." Mike just lost Tina to cancer. You could see the tears filling his eyes. He wiped them away and excused himself. It had only been less than a week. I could understand where his pain was coming from. It took me a while to search for him in the huge crowd of people but I finally found him sitting at a picnic table in the shade looking at his phone. I walked up behind him and saw that he was looking at pictures of Tina. I knew exactly how he felt. Like Santana and myself, everyone knew that Tina and Mike were meant for each other. There wasn't anyone else that was more perfect for him.

"Mike?" He turned around. I hugged him. "It's okay. Remember what I told you. Things get easier as time goes on. Time heals all wounds."

"I know they do. It's just hard for me. She was the love of my life." He wiped his eyes again.

"I understand, Mike. That's exactly how I felt when I lost San.. I didn't understand why she had to be taken from me. Why now? So many unanswered questions." I took a deep breath. "It's so hard for me still. I feel I have no outlet for my emotions. Like, singing isn't good enough." Mike put his arm on my shoulder.

"Come to my studio tomorrow. I have an idea. But promise me you'll be open minded. Okay?" He smiled.

"What do you mean?" I was confused. Mike and I weren't ever too close, but after that night he called me I felt like we connected in a way.

"Just trust me. 3:00 tomorrow afternoon okay?" He smiled. "I have to go now. I'll see you tomorrow." And he walked away.

* * *

_Quinn's POV_

When Britt and I returned home from Lima, I felt strong. But once I stepped into the house, I broke. I knew I wasn't coming home to Rachel anymore. It was like the mini vacation made me deny the truth. I walked upstairs and saw her side of the dresser empty, and her side of the closet completely bare. I cried every night for like a month straight. I felt so heartbroken. One night, Britt knocked on the door.

"Q? Can I come in?" I didn't say anything. I felt her sit on the bed, and her rub my back. It startled me because I didn't even hear her walk into my room.

"Hey it's gonna be okay. You have to relax. Take deep breaths." I felt her body lay right next to mine. Her arms went around me and I felt her pull me towards her.

"Shhh.. You're going to be okay Quinn. I'm here for you. I'm going to make sure that you'll be okay. No matter how long it takes." She rocked me and I started to calm down. I didn't know what it was, but I stopped crying and felt relief. Was this the Brittany that Santana fell in love with? So compassionate and caring. I never saw this side of Britt before. It was different. And not in a bad way. I got used to Britt coming into my room after a while. We'd cuddle and it felt so nice. I would fall asleep on her chest, and wake up the next morning and we would still be in the same position. In all honesty, I started to like her. She didn't do much, but it was those little things that meant the most to me. I knew it wasn't the best time, but I couldn't help myself. I was torn. My feelings for her kept growing, yet I didn't want them to. I liked the feeling of cuddling but I knew it was wrong. I didn't want to like her, but I wasn't stopping myself from feeling that way. I stopped crying at night, and slowly she stopped coming into my room. I felt like I was missing something. I was missing her. It was so cute when I would watch her play with AJ. Everything little thing about her seemed cute to me as time went on. The way she smiled, the way she held her cup when she drank her coffee; especially the way she layed on the couch after she came home from work. It was so tempting to just lay with her but I knew that would be weird. It would make things awkward between us if I acted on my feelings. So I decided to let it blow over, I figured that it was just a phase.

A couple months later, we got a call from Mike Chang. He was getting the Glee Club together so that we could perform at his grand opening of his new dance studio. It was a huge achievement for him and Tina. It was his dream since we were in high school and to see him achieve it was amazing. But a week before the opening, Tina lost her battle with cancer. Everyone was devastated. Especially Mike. The doctors had just told him that she was going to make it and that her cancer was going into remission. But there were complications with the last couple days of her chemotherapy and she didn't make it. Brittany was sleeping with me that night because I found one of Rachel's cards to me, and like a idiot I read it. And ended up breaking down. That evening, Mike called her. It was about 4:15 in the morning when we were woken up by her phone.

"Hello?" You could still hear the sleepiness in her voice. I smiled and cuddled closer to her. "Mike? What's wrong?"

"She's gone, Britt. Tina. She's gone. I don't know what to do. I didn't know who to talk to. I called you because I felt you were the only one who knew what I felt. What I was going through." Brittany sat up. The look on her face worried me. I didn't know what was going on.

"It's alright Mike I'm here." They talked for about an hour. Then she layed back down and told me what happened. I cried a little.

"That's why we need to keep the ones we love close. And always remind them how much they mean to us." At that point I almost came out and said that I liked her. But I hesitated. She sat up on the bed and ran her hands through her hair. She stood up and put her shirt back on (because Britt never slept with her shirt on) and walked towards the door.

"I'm gonna go downstairs, I can't sleep. There's too much on my mind. I just need some time to process things; to clear my head. Do you want me to close the door behind me?" She turned around and looked at me.

"Yes, please." She closed the door and I layed on my back and stared at the ceiling. I didn't know what made it so hard for me to just tell her. Usually I wasn't scared of anything. But the thought of telling Britt terrified me.

At the grand opening of Mike's dance studio, we met up with everyone from the Glee Club. I spotted Rachel in a good second. I didn't like what I saw. She was hand in hand with Finn, and she was happy. I stood by Brittany and looked down.

"What's wrong, Q?" I pointed discretely at the couple walking towards us and she made me look up at her and assured me that everything was going to be okay. She walked away to talk to Mercedes. After our performance, Mike went on stage to give a little speech to the crowd that came out for his grand opening. When he walked off stage to come and talk to us, Tina came up and he walked away. Brittany went after him, and I watched as she made her way through the sea of people.

"You like her don't you?" I turned around and Sam was there.

"What? No I don't, Sam. That's ridiculous." I gave him a disapproving look. But he just shook his head.

"Don't try that with me, Quinn. I know how you get when you like someone. You look like a puppy dog lost when that person isn't around. No offense." I looked down. "You haven't told her yet, have you?" I could see Britt from where I was standing now.

"I'm not going to tell her Sam. I can't. It just doesn't feel right." He moved closer.

"But what if she feels the same way about you?" I didn't even look at him. I watched as the beautiful tall blonde made her way back towards me. She waved and had a smile on her face. Her hair glistened in the sunlight, I felt like my feelings were growing stronger by the second.

"Because I know she's still in love with Santana."


	10. Chapter 10: Talent

**AUTHORS NOTE: I found myself a BETA! And she's amazing! Anyway, I hope you all have been enjoying this fic. The two songs in this chapter are Haunted by Kelly Clarkson, and God Must've Spent A Little More Time On You by N*Sync. Comments, favorites, reviews. ANYTHING. It's motivation! :)**

It was around 2:30 and I was getting ready to leave the house to head down to Mike's studio. I was wondering why he wanted me to go down there.

"When are you going to be back?" Quinn was at the counter when she asked me. I looked at her as I grabbed my purse from the table.

"I'm not sure, I'll let you know though. Why do you ask?" She looked down. "Q? Whatsup?" She looked like she wanted to tell me something.

"It's nothing, Britt. You better get going you don't want to keep Mike waiting." She smiled at me and continued making her late lunch. I got into the car and headed down to Mike's studio. When I got to the doors of the building, a handwritten sign was hanging on the door.

_Sorry for the inconvenience, all classes have been cancelled today due to personal agendas. See you all tomorrow._

I grabbed my phone and saw I had a missed call and a text from Mike.

_Disregard the sign out front. Come around back, I'll be back there._

I walked around the building and saw Mike sitting at a table drinking a beer. He saw me and smiled.

"I'm glad you could make it Britt. Come, have a seat." I walked over to the table and sat next to him. "You must be wondering why I asked you to come down today. Well, when you told me that you didn't have a outlet to express your emotions other than singing, I thought you should try dancing." I shook my head.

"Mike I haven't even danced before and I.." He interrupted me.

"Just trust me. Give it a try. I won't make fun of you I promise." He stood up and motioned me to follow him. His studio was so big. It was beautiful.

"This place is so nice, Mike. Tina would've loved it." He smiled.  
"She saw it before she passed away. The first people to dance in here, was us." He looked up at the picture of them together on the wall. "And I will always remember it. Anyway, let's get down to business. I found a song that both of us can relate to and it's pretty easy to dance to. It's simple." He showed me the steps and how his routine went. I felt like it came all too easily for me.

"Wow Britt. You look like a natural. Let's try it with the music." He walked over to the stereo and pressed play. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I told him. The music started playing.

_Louder, louder  
The voices in my head  
Whispers taunting  
All the things you said  
Faster the days go by and I'm still  
Stuck in this moment of wanting you here_

Mike and I moved around each other with ease. It came so naturally. I didn't over think anything. I danced as if Santana was there watching me.

_Time  
In the blink of an eye  
You held my hand, you held me tight_

I felt like I had been doing this for years. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? Memories of Santana started to come to my mind. I felt like this could be something I could get used to doing. Something that I knew I would love.

_Now you're gone  
And I'm still crying  
Shocked, broken  
I'm dying inside_

The tempo of the music got faster. The faster it got, the more emotion I put into it. I felt like I was letting everything go. I never felt this way in a while. I felt happy. Genuinely happy because I felt like I was emptying the emotions I kept in me for so long onto the dance floor.

_Where are you?  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me_

The routine wasn't that long and Mike ran over to the stereo to shut it off.

"Britt. You're amazing. Have you danced before?" I shook my head.

"I never did. But this? It wasn't hard. I liked it. Actually, I loved it." I smiled. I wiped the sweat off of my head with my shirt. We sat on the ground and talked. After about a half an hour of reminiscing about high school, he brought up a question.

"When did you start, feeling better? Like, about Santana being gone." I looked at him.

"Honestly? It still hurts until this day when I think about it. I'll think about going home and she won't be there. I'd be going home to dinners for one, and a lonely couch when I'm watching Glee. It was our favorite show to watch together." He looked at me, and flashed me a small smile.

"You still love her, don't you Britt." I nodded.

"With everything I have in me. I feel better everyday. It just takes time. The hurt will eventually go away, Mike. Trust me."

"You're a great friend, Britt. Do you want to be my dance partner? There's a competition coming up in a couple weeks, and you'd be perfect. You've got a lot of talent. I haven't seen someone who picked up on my moves so quickly before. But it's only if you want to." The biggest smile appeared on my face.

"Really? I'd love to!" I hugged me and we both fell over. He started laughing.

"Don't hurt me, Britt. Or you'll be out a partner!" We laughed.

"I should probably start heading home. It's getting late." I stood up and hugged Mike one more time. "I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to Mike. Don't worry okay?"

"Thanks Brittany. That means a lot." I said goodbye and walked out to my car. I sat in the drivers seat for a bit. I was exhausted. I hadn't used so much energy in a long time. Driving home, all I could think about was Santana. I wondered if she was proud of me, if she knew what I learned about myself. That I could dance. I'm sure she knows; she always watches me. I got home and Quinn was sitting on the couch watching tv.

"Hey Britt. You hungry? I have some extra lasagna in the oven. I know it's your favorite." She got up from the couch and walked over to where I was in the kitchen.

"I actually just want some water. I'm so exhausted from dancing with Mike, I want to sleep." She put the extra lasagna in the refrigerator.

"Oh okay. That's fine. Did you have fun? You look like you did. I haven't seen you this happy in a long time." She started putting her hair in high pony.

"I am happy. I felt like I released so many emotions I've been holding inside of me. It feels great. Maybe you should dance too Quinn. It could help!" She chuckled.

"I don't dance, Britt. I'm not good at it." She smiled and walked back over to the couch. I drank about two glasses of water and headed upstairs. I layed on my bed, and fell asleep.

* * *

I opened my eyes and found myself on the stage in the auditorium. Not all of the lights were on. I walked from the left to the right side of the stage and that's when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and Santana walked out from the darkness. I smiled.

"You look so much better than when I first saw you, Britt." She walked over to me and kissed me. "You must feel a lot better after dancing with Mike today."

"I knew you were watching." She nodded.

"Of course I was. You're amazing Britt. So graceful and fluent with every move." I blushed.

"Stop it babe." I giggled a little.

"You're so cute. Dance with me, my love." She held out her hand. I grabbed it and moved closer to her.

"There's no music?"

"Don't worry, I got it covered Britt." Music started playing and we started swaying back and forth.

_Can this be true?  
Tell me, can this be real?  
How can I put into words what I feel?  
My life was complete  
I thought I was whole  
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?  
I never thought that love could feel like this  
and you've changed my world with just one kiss.  
How can it be that right here with me  
there's an angel  
It's a miracle.._

"This is the song I would listen to all the time. It was exactly how I felt for you. I'm sorry I didn't share this with you before." San kissed me and continued dancing.

_Your love is like a river  
Peaceful and deep  
Your soul is like a secret  
That I never could keep  
When I look into your eyes  
I know that it's true  
God must have spent a little more time  
On you.._

Santana put her head on my shoulder and I felt her embrace get tighter. I missed her so much. I missed the feeling of her touch. The way she fit so perfectly when I hugged her.

_In all of creation  
All things great and small  
You are the one that surpasses them all  
More precious than  
Any diamond or pearl  
They broke the mold  
When you came in this world  
And I'm trying hard to figure out  
Just how I ever did without  
The warmth of your smile  
The heart of a child  
That's deep inside  
Leaves me purified_

"I love you, Brittany. This is the song that I want to make ours. You know? How all couples have their 'song'?" She smiled. "I want this to be ours. It perfectly describes how I feel for you. How I will always feel for you." The music continued playing in the background as we talked.

"Of course it can be our song, baby. Whichever song you want." I kissed her again. I missed the feeling of her lips on mine. "Can you try and promise me something?"  
"Anything, B."

"Could you come and watch Mike and I dance in the competition in a couple of weeks?" I looked at her with optimism in my eyes.

"I was already planning on it." She held my hands. "I don't want you to ever forget what you meant to me. I want you to know that as long as my memory lives within you; so will my love. Brittany I won't be able to stay around much longer." Tears started filling my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I didn't understand.

"I have to leave here sometime, baby. I can't stay here forever. As much as I want to, I can't. This isn't the last time you'll be seeing me. I'm just preparing you for what's coming." I started crying.

"I don't want to lose you." She looked at me and flashed an innocent smile.

"Baby you already lost me."

"You know what I meant, San." She grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to her. Our foreheads were touching each other.

"I'm always going to be with you no matter what, Britt. You know that. I know you're strong. Like I said. This isn't goodbye. It's a see you later. Okay?" I hesitated but I nodded anyway.

"I'm guessing you have to go now?"

"No babe. Not this time." Everything went dark. When the light came back, we were in her room. She was wearing her favorite Louisville cheerleading shirt. Hair down, no make up on.

"Come here babe." She layed on her bed and I layed next to her. We cuddled and I smiled.

"I've missed this." I told her.

"I know you have. Shh. Rest now okay? I know you're tired from all that dancing today." She kissed me one last time and I felt myself falling asleep.

"I love you, San." I got the words out before I was taken over by exhaustion. But before I completely fell asleep, I felt a kiss on my forehead and the words I loved hearing.

"I love you too, Britt. Proudly so."


	11. Chapter 11: Nothing To Lose

**AUTHORS NOTE: Hello everyone! I am so pleased with the amount of views and feedback I've gotten about this story! I've already got an idea for the next story I want to start but I don't want to start that until I've finished this one :) And I'm very happy about everyone being so patient with me and this story. I'm off of orders until next week Wednesday so I should have time to finish up this story :) Review and favorite! You know the drill!**

_Brittany's POV_

A couple weeks passed and Mike and I were finally ready for our competition. It was exciting. I loved the feeling of competing. I was getting ready that morning when Quinn came in and sat on my bed and started talking to me.

"Are you nervous?" She played with her hair and looked at me.

"Of course not, I live for competition. Don't you remember how I used to get before competitions during Glee?" She smiled.

"Of course I do. It was cute." I looked back at her.

"Cute?" She blushed.

"Sorry, Britt. But it was." I laughed.

"It's alright Q. Are we riding in the same car to the competition or did you want to take separate cars?"  
"The same car is fine. Let's take a picture since you're finished getting ready." Quinn pulled her phone out of her purse and we snapped a mirror picture. "I like it."

"Make sure you send that to me. Let's go. I don't want to be late." We went to the car and headed to the competition. Mike was already there, and he was super nervous. It was going to be his first time performing in over a year, and it was the first time that Tina wasn't there for him. Quinn sat next to Sam and Mercedes in the audience and I walked back stage to find Mike. He was sitting on a chair looking at his phone.

"Hey Mike. You ready? We're about to go on." He shook his head.

"I can't do it."  
"Yes you can, Mike. You can do this. Tina is watching you. Even if you can't see her? She can see you." He looked at me.

"Do you really believe that?" I nodded.

"Yes. I'm a firm believer. Now trust me. Let's do this. We're going to kill the competition." He got up from his seat and grabbed me by the arm.

_And now, give a round of applause for the last two competitors. Performing to Beyoncé's 'Love On Top' here is Mike Chang and Brittany S. Pierce!_

The music started playing and we went onstage. It was perfect. I felt that I had given my best performance of my life. When the song finished, I smiled at Mike and we simultaneously hugged each other. The crowd burst into applause and gave us a standing ovation. We bowed and walked off stage.

"We got this in the bag!" Mike smiled. I had not seen him this happy in a long time. He ran up to his mom, who was crying with happiness. My parents couldn't make it to the competition because they were in Minnesota for my dad's company party. Mike came running back over to me.

"C'mon Britt they're going to announce the winners." We stood by the curtain as the announcer grabbed the microphone.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. I would like to announce the winners of the 5th Annual Dance Till You Drop Competition. In third place, Tony and Francelina!" The audience roared with applause. They were the couple that everyone thought was going to win. It gave me hope. "And in first place, by unanimous decision. Mike and Brittany!" The crowd went wild. We ran on stage to get our award. A check worth 10,000 dollars. Confetti fell down all around us. I could see Quinn, Sam and Mercedes running down from their seats. We all hugged onstage. It was definitely one of the greatest moments I've had in a while.

"I'm so proud of you, Britt." Quinn said in my ear as she hugged me. I looked at her.

"Thanks Q" I hugged her again. Tears of happiness fell from my eyes and she wiped them away. I looked up at the ceiling. I wished Santana were here to see this, it would've made her proud. I pointed up to the ceiling.

"This one was for you baby. I love you Santana."

_Quinn's POV_

It was the day of Britt's dance competition. I was anxious to see it; she refused to tell me anything about it. _I want it to be a surprise _is what she would tell me whenever I asked about the routine. When we got there, I met up with Sam and Mercedes. Britt walked down towards the stage to find Mike. I watched her as she walked away. Sam nudged my arm.

"You're so in love with her." I blushed.

"Can you please not say that so loud, Sam." He looked at me in shock.

"No denying it? You really are." I looked down. "You haven't talked to her about it yet, have you."

"No I haven't. I always build up the courage to but right when I'm about to say something I get too scared."

"You're going to have to tell her sometime, Quinn. Keeping these feelings hidden for so long isn't going to do you any good." He put his arm around his shoulder. "You just do it when you feel you're ready. There's no rush." I smiled.

"Thanks Sam." We sat down in our seats and Mercedes came back with a bunch of snacks and drinks for us. As the performances went on, all I could think about was what Britt looked like when we left the house this morning. She was so confident and enthusiastic. I unlocked my phone and looked at the picture we took before we left. I set it as my wallpaper and stared at it for a while. Sam nudged me again, this time it was because Mike and Britt were about to perform. I sat up in my seat as the lights went dimmer. The music started playing.

_Honey, honey  
I can see the stars all the way from here  
Can't you see the glow on the window pane?  
I can feel the sun whenever you're near_

It was my favorite song. Everytime I heard it, I thought of Britt. And seeing her dance to it was just icing on the cake. I pulled out my phone again and hit record.

_Every time you touch me I just melt away  
Now everybody asks me why I'm smiling out from ear to ear  
But I know  
Nothings perfect, but it's worth it after fighting through my fears  
And finally you put me first_

I flashbacked to when Britt first started cuddling with me. The way she smelled. The way that I fit when I would lay on her chest. It made me so happy; it was like I was on a high. Cloud nine, if you will. I had all these feelings inside of me. And they were all for her.

_Baby it's you.  
You're the one I love.  
You're the one I need.  
You're the only one I see._

I started to cry. I knew I had to tell her, and I had to tell her soon. Keeping it bottled up was taking a toll on me. Sam put his arm over my shoulder and whispered that it would be okay. She looked so beautiful up on stage. So confident. It showed in her moves. Her gracefulness was amazing. She took my breath away without even knowing it.

_Come on baby it's you.  
You're the one that gives your all.  
You're the one I can always call.  
When I need you make everything stop.  
Finally you put my love on top._

Their routine came to an end and the entire audience went crazy. People were screaming and clapping. I stood up and wiped my face and started clapping. I was so proud of her. The crowd calmed down and the MC came onto the stage. My heart felt like it stopped. I held my breath. _And the winners are, Mike and Brittany! _I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest. I was so excited for them. Conffetti was everywhere and everyone was screaming. Sam, Mercedes and I ran onto the stage to congradulate them. I ran up to Britt and hugged her.

"I'm so proud of you!" I told her. I meant it. Seeing her win made my heart happy.

"Thanks Quinn." She pointed up to the ceiling and said that the dance was for Santana. I turned around and walked away. I wanted it to be for me. I wanted her to be mine. After all the celebration and congratulating from random people, we were ready to leave. I was already sitting in the car when she came outside. I saw her talking to Mike near the doors of the building. I saw Sam walking towards me in the mirror.

"You okay Quinn?" I could tell he was concerned.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Thanks Sam."

"I'm here if you need anyone to talk to." He kissed me on the cheek and walked over to his car. The drivers door opened.

"I hope you weren't waiting too long, Quinn." She pulled the hair tie out and let her hair down. She ran her hands on her scalp, through her hair. I couldn't help but watch. Everything she did was breathtaking to me. I looked away before she could figure out that I was watching. I turned my head to face out of the window. The car started and we drove out of the parking lot. I felt her hand on my thigh.

"Quinn, what's wrong? You've been acting weird lately. Is something bothering you?" I looked at her.

"It's nothing, Britt. Don't worry about it okay?"  
"Don't tell me that it's nothing okay? I know when something is bothering you. You can't lie to me." She had a serious look on her face.

"I can't tell you."  
"Why is that? You know that you can tell me anything, Q. I thought that we were close enough to where we didn't have to hide anything from each other." Tears started falling from my eyes again.

"I'm scared." She gave my thigh a little squeeze.

"Of what?"

"This is just silly. I'm not telling you." I crossed my arms.

"Tell me, Quinn Fabray."

"No."

"You better tell me."

"I'm not telling you."

"Tell me!" She was almost yelling now. I could feel it being pulled out of me. I couldn't take it anymore. In my head, I had nothing to lose. We were home now; I got out of the car and walked into the house. She followed right behind me.

"I don't know what your problem is, Quinn. I don't understand why you can't just tell me." This was it. There was no turning back. I stopped walking, and turned around to face her.

"I'm falling in love with you."


	12. Chapter 12: Holding It In

**AUTHORS NOTE: So sorry for the delay. I've been spending time with my girlfriend before I go back on orders again. We've been having a marathon of "The L Word". It's my first time watching it and I love it! For all of those anxiously waiting to see what happens, here you go :)**

I looked at her in shock. I tried saying something, but my head and my jaw weren't communicating. My mouth finally opened but nothing was coming out.

"Britt? Damnit. What the fuck was I thinking? I shouldn't have said anything. I should've just kept my mouth shut." Quinn ran her hands through her hair in frustration. Finally something came out.

"Are… You sure? Are you sure it isn't just a silly crush or something? A rebound?"  
"Silly crush? No Brittany. It isn't anything like that. I don't think you understand what you mean to me. When we came back from Lima and the reality of Rachel hit me, you were everything I needed. You cuddled with me and made me feel better. You laid with me until I stopped crying and wiped the tears from my eyes." I thought about it. Did I lead her on? "You were everything I have dreamt of. And you don't even know it. I now know why Santana fell head over heels for you. You're so compassionate and caring and just, you're perfect. You're perfect Britt. Perfect for me, even if you don't see it. It's true." I shook my head.

"Quinn, I think that you're feelings for me only happened because you wanted someone after Rachel left you. She was your first girlfriend. Your first real relationship. I'm just a rebound."

"I don't understand why you keep saying that! You're not a rebound. You are who I want to be with. Who I want to call my girlfriend. You mean so much more to me than you will ever know." I grabbed my keys from the counter and started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going Britt?" I turned back. Quinn's eyes were full of tears.

"I can't do this right now okay? I'll be back later." I walked out to the car and got in. What the fuck was happening? Quinn's falling in love with me? I started the car and drove out of the garage and onto the street. I didn't know exactly where I was going. My conscious always knew where to take me though. I ended up at Mike's studio, hoping that he was there. I had a key to get in, he told me if I was ever getting overwhelmed or if I needed somewhere to go and relax, I could go to his studio. _"You're always welcomed here, Britt." _That's what he would always tell me. I unlocked the front door and walked in. He was sitting on the bench near the refrigerator.

"Ahh hey Britt whatsup? Beer?" I gladly accepted his offer and sat down. "What's wrong? You looked stressed. You should be happy! We just won a shitload of money!" He smiled.

"No don't get me wrong, Mike. I am happy. I really am. All of our hard worked paid off. It's just…" I looked down.

"I know, you wanted Santana there. But like you told me with Tina. She was there, Britt. She was there watching the both of us. They were probably sitting in the front row with some popcorn cheering us on." I shook my head.

"It wasn't that, Mike. On the way home, Quinn looked like she needed to tell me something. I kept bugging her about it, and she didn't want to tell me. But she did. Mike, She told me that she's falling in love with me." I took another sip of my beer.

"Whoa what? Really? What did you tell her?"

"I didn't really say anything, actually. I didn't know what to say. It caught me completely off guard." He looked at me.

"You didn't think that after all those nights of cuddling and all those sweet little things you did for her that she would somehow end up having feelings for you? Don't take this the wrong way, Britt. But you made it seem like you had feelings for her as well. I saw the way she would look at you when she would come and watch us teach the elementary students how to dance. She looked at you proudly. Not as a friend. I know the difference. It was the way that Tina looked at me, and the way Santana did for you." I looked at him. He was right. I don't know why I didn't notice it before.

"I didn't mean to lead her on though. If I did, it was completely unintentional."  
"Are you sure about that? Have you even given it a little thought as to if you had any feelings for Quinn?" He looked curious. I knew he wanted to know my answer.

"I don't have any feelings for Quinn. Or at least I think I don't. I'm not ready for this. Or for any type of relationship for that matter. My heart still belongs to Santana. I haven't moved on from her yet. If she were still alive, we'd still be together. None of this would've ever happened." I started to cry. "This isn't fair. She should still be here!" Mike scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. I was sobbing uncontrollably.

"I know you aren't over Santana. And no one is asking you to just get over her. We all know it takes time. But maybe Quinn couldn't hold it in any longer. Do you remember how it felt to hold in your feelings for Santana?" I thought about it. He was right. It drove me crazy.

"Could I tell you a story?"

"Sure Britt. Nee another beer first?" He moved towards the refrigerator.

"Yeah that'd be great." I grabbed the new bottle from him and popped the top open. I never liked drinking the bottom of the bottle. It tasted horrible. "Alright well, this story actually has to do with me and Tina." He smiled.

"Whenever you're ready."

* * *

_I was standing at my locker, my face hidden between the metal walls. I wasn't looking for anything particular, I just didn't want to look out. I felt like my feelings were creating physical weight on my shoulders. The bell rang and everyone started heading to their classes. I didn't move. I didn't feel like myself at all. I sighed, and pulled my head out of my locker. I jumped back. Tina was standing behind the door and I didn't know that she was there._

_"Britt how come you aren't in class?"_

"No reason. Why aren't you in class?" I asked her the same.

_"Because I'm going to the bathroom. It's like, ten minutes since the bell rang. Have you been standing at your locker the entire time?" I nodded. "What's wrong Britt? You haven't been talking a lot in Glee Club, and you look down everywhere you walk. Something's wrong. And you can't tell me that nothing is." I wasn't gonna lie. Tina knew. It was probably because she's Asian._

_"Alright well, I have been holding something in for a very long time. And honestly I feel like it's killing me." _

_"Don't worry, Brittany. You can talk to me about anything. I won't say anything to anyone I promise. You can trust me." She started to rub my back. We went to sit down on the bench that was near my locker._

_"For the past, I'm gonna say; two months. I've been hiding my true feelings for someone. I like this person a lot. I'm just scared to tell them what I feel." She turned towards me now._

_"Just tell Santana, Britt." I looked at her, surprised._

_"How did you.." She stopped me._

_"How did I know? Because of the way you smile when she sings. The way she's always smiling and giggling when she's with you. How you always search for her when she isn't in the choir room. I only know, because that's how I feel about Mike." She stood up. "You need to tell her. I'm talking to Mike today after school. Don't worry. I swear that I won't tell a soul. Your secret is safe with me." And Tina walked away. A sat on the bench a while longer, thinking about if I ever did tell Santana, how would I say it. And what exactly would I say. I closed my eyes and leaned back. _

_"Britt?" I opened my eyes. Santana was standing in front of me. "Why aren't you in class? I was waiting for you." I smiled. She sat down next to me._

_"I don't know, I guess I didn't feel like going to class today." _

_"Something's bothering you. I can tell." I looked at her._

_"Nothing's bothering me, San. Everything's fine. C'mon. Let's go to class. Wait. Did you come out of class to look for me?" She nodded_

_"I was worried. I wasn't sure where you were. Maybe you had gotten lost or something." I smiled._

_"You're the greatest best friend ever, San. Thank you." We linked pinkies and walked down the hallway._

* * *

"I remember that day. Because Tina took me to her car and told me exactly how she felt about me." He smiled. "I think, you need to talk to Quinn. Because she just told you all of her feelings. She deserves an answer. Don't you think?"

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks Mike. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" We both stood up and I hugged him goodbye. I got into my car and sat for a little while. I had one of Santana's senior pictures on my dashboard. Along with a strip of pictures from the photo booth they had at the carnival last summer. I always looked at them before I drove somewhere. I knew I had to go home and talk to Quinn. What I was going to talk to her about was still uncertain. I started the car and drove out of the parking lot. When I finally got home, I parked in the garage and shut the door. When I walked in the house, I saw Quinn sitting near the fire place with a glass of wine watching tv.

"Quinn, we need to talk." She turned to face towards me. Her eyeliner was running, her make up smeared.

"Alright lets talk." Quinn turned the tv down and I sat on the couch next to her.

"I know.. You have these feelings for me. I respect that and I won't say it's a rebound or anything like that anymore. I want you to understand though, that I'm not ready for any kind of relationship. I'm not over Santana." She looked at me and I knew that she didn't understand.

"But all those things you did for me? Cuddling with me at night? Spending all that time together?" She started to cry again.

"I know I did those things and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I was just trying to be a good friend. I know how hard break ups can be. When Santana and I broke up when she first stared college I would cry myself to sleep every night. I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm sorry for leading you on. I still want to be your friend." She nodded.

"I understand. And of course we can still be friends. I'm gonna try and accept the fact that I can't be with you right now. Thank you for talking to me about this." She hugged me.

"I'm gonna go upstairs now. Goodnight Q." She smiled and I headed up the stairs. I went into the room and laid on the bed. The last thing I remember thinking about was Santana. I smiled, and fell right to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13: Heartbeat

**AUTHORS NOTE: Trigger Warning. Mentions of suicide. Sorry I've been gone for a while, things got hectic. My beta is AMAZING and helped me a whole lot to write this chapter :) I'll try to update more often. **

After everything that happened with Quinn, I expected the vibe around the house to get tense. Or at least a little awkward. But it didn't at all. It was like nothing was ever mentioned; nothing happened. I started taking AJ on daily morning runs. He was getting so big, and I knew keeping him cooped up in the house all day wasn't what he wanted. I was getting the backyard fenced off so that I could let him out during the day and he could do as he pleased. I was also making a doggie door for him, so that he could come in when he was ready. This one morning in particular, Quinn got up earlier than usual. I went downstairs to make myself a protein shake to take with me. I went into the garage and got AJ's collar. When I went back into the kitchen, he was sitting there anxiously waiting for me.

"Are you ready to go buddy?" His tail started wagging furiously. I put his collar on and left for my morning run.

As I was walking AJ back up to the house I spotted Quinns car sitting out front leading me to believe she was home. Once inside I hung AJ's collar up and yelled for Quinn, but there was no answer. I yelled a little louder thinking maybe she would be in her room listening to music. Again no answer. So i decided to walk upstairs to see what she was doing and why she was ignoring me. As I got to the top of the stairs i noticed her bedroom door was open, which never happens. I briefly knocked and opened the door to find the room empty. The only other place she could be is the bathroom. Surely when I walked over the door was closed and I could hear water running. I tried calling out her name yet again, but no answer. I then got a sour feeling in my stomach. Something didn't feel right. So I opened the bathroom door, instantly regretting it. My heart literally stopped and I stood there paralyzed. But only for a split second before I realized my best friend was in the shower, blood everywhere. I started to panic. As I ran over to her I tried to check for her pulse which luckily I found. Heartbeat. Inwardly thanking myself for taking some medical courses in high school, I called 911 figuring that they could get her to the hospital faster than I could. Once the EMT arrived and said she still had a pulse they took her off in the ambulance. They offered me a seat on the ride there but i declined. I needed to make sure AJ was settled and then I would be on my way right after that.

Making my way into the ER I talked to the lady at the desk.

"I need to know what room number Quinn Fabray is in, please?" I said in the nicest tone possible.

"Are you family ma'am?" The nurse asked.

"I'm her sister." I replied, lying. But who cares my best friend was alone and needed me.

"Room 10." She pointed me in the right direction. Once i arrived in front of the door i got a sick feeling in my stomach. I've always hated hospitals. As I was about to open the door it opened for me and a tall woman with a white coat came out almost running into me. I assumed she was Quinn's doctor.

"Hello, are you here to see Quinn Fabray?" She said. I just shook my head. It was the only thing I could do. Then I managed to squeak out softly.

"I'm her sister." The doctor introduced herself and told me that Quinn had cut herself numerous times on her arms,which led them to believe that she was attempting suicide. This came as a huge surprise to me because I never imagined her doing something like that. After getting all of this information, the doctor told me I was welcome to go in and see her. But that she might be a little bit sedated. I thanked her and walked in. As I opened the door I peered in and saw her laying on the bed almost lifeless. I quickly made my way to her side and grabbed her hand. She opened her eyes and smiled at me.

"Oh my God, Quinn are you okay? What happened? Why did you do this? Did I do something wrong?" I then realized I was rambling and needed to shut up and let her talk.

"You always did ramble on and on when you were worried about something." Quinn said with a giggle. I looked down embarrassed. "Its cute though." She then said. But then my smile turned serious.

"Quinn, why did you do this to yourself?" She looked at me with tears filling her eyes. Her entire demeanor changed.

"It all started a couple days ago.


End file.
